It’s Not You: 27 (Wrong) Reasons You’re Single by Sara Eckel

BLOG“Why are you single?”

Undoubtedly one of the most annoying questions ever asked, but it’s a question every person with a single status has been asked at some point.  In a world where coupling up is the standard, being single seems like a big mystery.  I mean, there’s gotta be a reason, right?  It’s become a common belief.  One that leads to the question “why are you single?” to be asked, but also for singles to endlessly analyze in an attempt to find an answer.

Sara Eckel examines and breaks down the twenty-seven most common reasons we’ve all heard at some point, such as: you’re too intimidating, you’re too picky, you’re too available, you’re too negative, you’re too desperate.  In her writing she develops a compelling argument and puts forth her own questions:

“What if your only ‘issue’ is the belief that you have them and that they’re keeping you from a relationship? What if you stopped defining yourself as someone who is afraid of intimacy or attracted to the wrong kind of man? What if you instead saw yourself as a flawed but basically loveable human being? What if the only reason you’re alone is you just haven’t met your partner yet?”

It’s Not You is an interesting and great read, one that many people will most likely relate too.  It is more geared towards women and the author draws from her own experiences.  I found it to be a refreshing take on the single life and dating in general.  Here is what this book isn’t:

“This book is not a guide for how to find a husband or wife – because I have no idea. It’s also not an action plan for renovating your soul so that you’ll be “ready” for love; if you’ve picked up this book, I’m sure you’re plenty ready. It’s not a tome from a know-it-all married lady – because seriously, I just met a dude, that’s it.”

Here is what it is:

“… it’s my attempt to clear away some of the societal muck that weighs us down and alienates us from our own instincts. This, of course, is not just a single-person problem – it’s an everybody problem. But when you’re single, there is so very much shit to wade through.”

It’s Not You: 27 (Wrong) Reasons You’re Single is a must read for anyone who has ever tried to answer the question “why am I still single?”

Favourite quote: “If you’re single and feel a void – if you find that career, friends, books, and travel are actually not enough – it’s not because you’re dizzy-brained or immature; it’s because you’re feeling a very legitimate need.”

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